Monday, February 7, 2011

Ancient Hawaiians.

They were fucking awesome. This will probably be my favorite of all time post because well I'm a surfer and respect the belief system they had because it was pretty much based around surfing.

Plus they were cannibals.
While I'd prefer to concentrate on the positive myths and and awesome mythical Gods and Goddesses they believed in. It was a pretty shitty belief system when it came to laws and things.
I'm talking about things like men and women could not eat together women were separated from society during their menses women were forbidden from eating pork, certain bananas, and coconuts fishing was restricted by season and people could not look at or touch an Ali’i or person with spiritual powers (mana), including their shadows.

These are the kind of things that ruin spiritual belief for people. They're so freaky about what the believe that they end up chasing people away.

On to the stuff that's cool now.
KANE, the creator-god
One Hawaiian creation story says that Kane created man out of white clay, red earth, and saliva. Magic spit I wonder if goddess hoes were all up on his tounge. Food for thought.

LONO the God of Storm, Rain, and Fertility
Somehow captain James Cook was mistaken for this God. I guess because he was taking a piss when he rode up to the island.

KU the God of war and strenuous activities
Ah Ku a pissed of version of Flava flav.

And finally Kanaloa the god of Sea and Death.
 Basically he's satan for the Hawaiian. See his cold stare and fear him.

The really cool stuff is more with the people though. I'm not sure where I found this but a while ago I read about how they would make this drink by fermenting some plant on the island and as they drank it it would cause something to build up in their skin causing them to look like lizard people. I believe the drink was called awa and it had some hallucinatory effects. They also believed heavily in family support and that the more time you'd spend with someone the stronger a spiritual tie you would have with them. These ties to them were in the form of strings called Aca chords or something like that I don't remember it was a while ago. But it starts out a string and can turn to a think rope allowing you to become closer to your loved ones spiritually or something. Pretty cool stuff if you ask me.


  1. Besides the cannibalism and misogynistic separation, I'd say that their beliefs are pretty cool.

  2. You're from hawaii also? Good to know im on Oahu!

  3. pretty serious tats i must say

  4. No I'm not from hawaii.
    I just wish I was very badly.

  5. Any culture that has a less-creepy Ron Jeremy for a god can't be all that bad.

  6. I like how Kane was the only to actually look human.

  7. I'm a huge fan of ancient cultures, and had never really thought to look into Hawaiian culture before now. Awesome stuff!

  8. Great info, its always interesting to learn the cool tidbits about other cultures.

  9. Very interesting stuff. I have some family that lives in Hawaii but I don't know much about the history.

  10. Veeeery interesting. I'm going to have to look more into this.

  11. Extremely interesting post, thanks for sharing.

  12. A lot of the things you said were really offensive.
    you should RESPECT other cultures no matter how strange their customs seem to you. that means not calling kapu systems shitty or making fun of Hawaiian gods.
    Our ancestors were not cannibals. there were instances when people did turn to cannibalism but our entire culture did not. Plus the belief system was not based completely on surfing. It was to maintain harmony with the land and sea and making sure not to overuse resources. At least get your damn facts correct!

  13. This entire article is filled with false information. I suggest that you never write about a culture unless you have done extensive research. And you should also cite reliable and credible sources.
    Anyone that would accept the things in this article as facts is just as ignorant as the author.